Sudish Kamat breaks up with Chiyyaan Vikram

Sudish Kamath is pissed off with actor Vikram. Now, I don't know either of them personally but the way his post panned out, accusing Vikram of being a self-congratulatory, hot-headed asshole, I am left to assume that Sudish is washing dirty underwear in public. Sudish tries hard to couch his raving but his eloquence (or the lack of it thereof) does not come to his rescue. So he tries to hide behind journalistic ethos. A good, principled journo is one who does not tell us that Sudish.

I have a question, if Sudish had picked up an altercation with one of his buddies, not someone famous, but an ordinary Joe, would Sudish have gone on to post a letter on his blog? You tell. So the cynic in me tells me that Sudish is trying to gain some sympathy, some popularity... but you know what? This is going to blow up on his face. That said, Sudish need not have gone on the 'friend' trip when he is actually pissed off. Sudish you are trying to steal his shoes while licking his feet. Make up your mind. You want the shoes or his feet? There is nothing called half a fuck my friend. See how the Kollywood strikes back. Don't you know what happened to Aachi Manorama? And you think you can get away with this.

Now, wait Sudish. I am not a fan of Vikram. I don't know him personally. I don't know you. And, I think you write like a stuck up virgin 70 year old man. Can you take this criticism and not lose your cool? Heh!

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AeroForce One Crashes In Bangalore

As it turned out, it was a pretty bad show. Yes, it was bad trust me. Tyler sang as if he had no interest at all in entertaining the audience. He never hit the high notes. And most times, did not even sing! Joe Perry was equal in his rather pompous display of utter incompetence. It was stunning to watch these guys willingly screw up; we grew up listening to them and watching them. It as a big let down. I was actually waiting for the concert to finish, so I could get back home and drink some beer. The only high point of the concert happened outside of it: a guy ran back from the gate screaming 'Hey they are asking me for tickets man!'
And, what's with these guys, Tyler and Perry, advertising their stupidity? They think India is about Elephants, Vindaloo, Cobras, and Tigers! Why am I not surprised!

Now, writing concert reviews hit a new high today. Anand Sankar's review in The Hindu today, stinks of ignorance. Some gems from his review:

There was "Falling In Love (is hard on the knees)" followed by "Crazy".

They never played Crazy Anand. I want some of what you were smoking at the concert. Wait a minute, were you at the concert at all?

All along the massive backdrop kept playing superb animation, the band large-size or clips from the original videos.

Huh? I can't believe that Hindu actually published this gibberish.

Every wrinkle on face and every muscle in his body was tense.

Who is this guy! I want Anand to be our next President.

He showed off the many tattoos on his torso, including the one on his lower back that simply said in bold: "Lick me". The origins of the band were in no doubt when Tyler went on with the typically drawled "Baibey".

First, the tattoo was on his lower STOMACH. The origins were clear because he said 'Baibey?' I rest my case.

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Smart Ass Reporting

Duh!
Don't you guys just love that George Khoshy? She is so cute!

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I love America

And this is why: Nasa astronaut arrested for attempted love rival kidnap

Mrs Nowak, a married mother of three, was friendly with Navy Commander William Oefelein, a pilot on space shuttle Discovery�s trip to the space station last December, and believed Ms Shipman was having a relationship with him, it is said.

Friendly? I forgive all the dumb ass directors that made movies based on 'boys and girls can be friends' concept.

She allegedly told officers that she wore a nappy, as astronauts do during launch and re-entry, so she would not have to stop on the journey.

Mrs Nowak, ignore these idiots that laugh at you. They don't understand the misery that love er, let me correct myself here, that that true friendship can cause. Friendship, yeah.

In the early hours of Monday morning, wearing a trench coat and the wig, she waited for Ms Shipman to arrive and then followed her to her car, saying she wanted to talk.

Trench coat? 'the' wig? M'am, stop smoking that shit and I proscribe HBO for you for the next 150 years.

The relationship was categorised as more than a working relationship, but less than a romantic relationship. Mrs Nowak discovered that Mr Oefelein was also involved with Ms Shipman.

No shit. I tell you. That wins the invention of the year award, that relationship scale I mean. Mr.Oefelin, you brat, you!

Inside Mrs Nowak�s vehicle, which was parked at a nearby motel, authorities uncovered latex gloves and e-mails between Ms Shipman and Mr Oefelein.

Lord Krishna on a skateboard! Now, brother, how did you find e-mails in the vehicle? Is it vista compatible? If yes, i want one of those vehicles.

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How do these guys get hired!?

Shashwat Chaturvedi wrote on CIOL.com:

Some unscrupulous hacker has defaced the page on Hindi at Wikipedia, adding the phrase "language of the pimps"

Dear Shaswat, unscrupulous hacker? You don't have to be a hacker to edit a Wiki page. Are you related to Einstein? Also, the page is not er 'vandalised' any more.

Also, the Wikipedia page is not the first result> that Google search throws up. If I were your editor, I'd have fed you to the dogs of Chandra Layout. Please remove that stick from your posterior and wipe that foam off your mouth. And, brush your teeth.

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WWW: Why Are We Wimps

I read, I think in Tony Greig's book on Cricket, about how an Indian Hockey team, back in the 60s, was sent to Pakistan with strict instructions to �I kid you not� to lose the series. I don't know if this is a hangover from the SatyaGraha movement, we tend to place a lot of premium on being 'nice' to our enemies and detractors. Another sad example is what the India Tourism Office did: Invite Jade Goody to India, with open arms. Why are we such wimps? Why can't we display some character and stand up to people that throw shit at us?
You disagree? See what the Paki press is writing.

Now I know why Munnabhai 2 was such a hit. Now, don't go and preach me about Gandhian values and about how you should show your other cheek and bend over when someone repeatedly slaps you.

I condemn extremism, but I don't believe in being a wimp either. All I am saying is tough times need tough measures. Not your furry cheeks.

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On Racism

The whole country (read media) is screaming and protesting the alleged racist treatment that was meted out to Shilpa Shetty. The governments have joined the cacophony: Prime Minister Blair said 'it can't be condoned' and our own I&B ministry is making noises over the whole thing. I find it funny, for we as a people are probably the biggest racists in this world and we find remarks like 'Indian' 'dog' as racist. Forget foreigners, our own people practice blatant racism against their own people:

1) In Goa, during the x-mas season, if you are an Indian no shack owner will welcome you. Even the cleaning boys treat you like dirt. I thought that the shack I went to was an exception. I was wrong. Wherever I went, the white skin got attention and service where as we were treated like we were refugees. In Palolem, we were asked to pay up in advance for our beers. When asked why the waiter said 'people run away.' I was disgusted when I discovered that he did not demand advance payment from the white masters.

2) In Tamilnadu, they hate the Hindi language. it is not taught in schools.

3) In Assam you could get killed for speaking in Hindi, thanks to ULFA.

4) In Karnataka they started a 3-week moratorium against 'other' language movies (including English.)

5) In Gujarat the state sponsored the slaughter of muslims a few years back.

We are the biggest racists in the world and we have no fcuking right to complain against racism. Let's learn how to treat people of our own country with respect before we blame the westerners and their culture.

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Karan Thapar and his stupid questions

Two of my friends called me last evening and said 'hey watch CNN-IBN, Thapar is screwing Jethmalani's trip!' I switched to IBN (I normally avoid the newsreaders of IBN. They give me ulcers.)
And there he was, Mr.Karan Thapar, attacking a visibly ruffled Mr.Jethmalani. Initially it was good fun, but later on, thanks to Thapar's dumb-ass questions, I got bored. What pissed me off was the way Thapar trivialized the judiciary by asking questions like 'did you use every trick in the book?' Agreed, our judiciary may not be the best; it may have some obvious ailments, but the point is it is all we got!
Thapar definitely had a hidden agenda: you don't ask the most famous criminal lawyer of the country questions like "Are there no standards that you set yourself, which you observe? Is there no Laxman-rekha your own personal morality demands that you respect? Will you do anything? Will you fall to any level?" and "Do you regret the collapse in your standing and you reputation in the eyes of the Indian people today?" First of all, there is no definite proof that Mr.Jethmalani has indeed crossed plumbed to deplorable depths. I mean hey even terrorists get lawyers to defend themselves. Does it make those lawyers terrorists too?
What about Manjunath's case? Did IBN or Thapar bother to follow it up? No! Unfortunately melodrama and emotion-milking works very well in this country. So Despite the fact that Thapar was illogical and at times downright stupid, we will still buy what he is dishing out. Why? Because we are suckers for melodrama. What a shame!
Also, if you made an atrocious allegation on me, does it mean that you are right, if I lost my temper? Karan, what are you on man? Must be real good stuff. Check this out:

Ram Jethmalani: I refuse to be needled by a person like you. You are too small to needle me, for God�s sake!

Karan Thapar: And in which case, why get angry? Why get upset? Why you lose temper?

Whether Mr.Jethmalani chooses clients to boost his popularity or not is none of our business. That's what media does every day so they don't have the fcuking right to talk about it. And I implore you Mr.Thapar, please don't ask questions like " Are you a man of character? Is this the behaviour of a man of character?" Even if Mr.RJ is not a man of character, what did you expect? He will confide in you that he is a character less prick? If he did confide and is honest about it, does it not make him a man of character you f***ing jerk? What is the purpose of such a question? You are playing a deliberate ploy to tarnish and malign someone. And, you are misleading the people of this country with your melodramatic nonsense. I pray that you guys in the media grow some spine real soon.


Rajdeep Sardesai, in the meantime, said there are two kinds of young people. Those who support Jessica Lal, Priyadarshini Mattoo etc and those who get drunk and run over people (via Nilu).
Oh well! Who is the lawyer that's fighting the case of Manjunath Rajdeep? When you pull your head out of your you-know-what, do let me know.

Also see: The CNN-IBN transcript of the Thapar-Jethmalani interview

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