99 Movie Review

A low-profile movie (by Bollywood standards) that has no real star power releases. It doesn't get too much media attention (by Bollywood standards again). But slowly but surely it creates a buzz. A friend mentions it on the phone. Colleagues talk about it. No, they are not gushing about it or anything. It is a calm acknowledgment of a good movie. It has grossed 7.24 Crores under two weeks. To me that's an indication that people enjoyed the movie. It is solid testimony to the fact that if you stuck to fundamentals and create a rewarding, engaging experience for the viewer, you will succeed. Star or no star. Media hype or no hype.

99 is a laugh-out-loud funny movie that tells the story of two young men that want to make it big (hit a century, if you will). Centered around the match-fixing, betting controversy, this tightly scripted tale is a laugh riot. Mahesh Manjrekar who plays the bookie called AGM will be long remembered for his role. Except for Soha Ali Khan who plays Pooja, each character in the movie pulls it weight and helps in making 99 a cohesive, endearing, and thrilling movie experience. Cyrus Broacha is a revelation on the big screen!

Directors DK and Raj painstakingly recreate the mad mad years gone by... when the mobile phone was still a fad. When polyphonic ringtones were not mainstream yet. The attention to detail was fantastic.

The humor is not the typical filmy slapstick but is more like funny situations and one-liners that we come across in our day-to-day life. You will relate to it. Also the irreverent, Guy Ritchie-meets-Tarantino style kind of worked out.

However, the first half slightly drags but in retrospect I understood that it is that way because the directors were setting it all up for a racy, thrilling second half. Save the best for the last I guess.

Watch out for DK and Raj. Their best is yet to come. I am guessing their second or third Bollywood venture will make history. Good luck boys!

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My Friend Sancho - Review

Amit Varma's debut novel My Friend Sancho is a welcome change. I say this not because of its literary merit. It is a welcome change because a) It is pop-fiction b) It does not try tricks like that IIT-MBA fellow whatever his name is (blending bollywood and cricket, well fuck you!) and most importantly c) It is almost-honest writing. No holier-than-thou shit.

It is a funny book. For people with average sense of humor that is. That's like 99.999999% of people. So I enjoyed it. For example, that MF line. And the oft-repeated imaginary dialogue. Note to Amit: Stop saying 'So there.' so often. So there.

Amit Varma uses his book to promote his blog. That's quite smart. I am sure Amit, on his birthday every year, sends a 'Congrats' card to his parents.

But does Sancho provide a great experience? Well not quite. I know Amit is capable of much, much more. The book hurries you. I was expecting an Andhra meal and I got a vada pav. For instance, Muneeza's character was till growing on me when the book ended. Is she a modern, muslim girl? A middle class chic restrained until now but waiting to fly free? Doesn't she want a boyfriend? Did she ever date? Did any guy hit on her any time? If yes how did she react? The trouble with the character is that the minute you realize she is a victim-muslim, you think "Zaheera!" I am sorry but I couldn't help it. And Amit's effort to position Muneeza as a 'modern' girl does not quite succeed. But, I won't blame Amit for it. Like I said I am the average reader with average intelligence and imagination. Or maybe Amit was so caught up with Abir Ganguly that he missed some fine tuning on Muneeza. Amit may claim that he is not Abir but hey! :)

I don't know if I am writing this because I have followed Amit's blog and met him a couple of times... I tried to be as honest as I can be. Um, so there!

This is the kind of a book that you'd finish in one sitting. Probably during your commute. And you'll probably startle your fellow passengers with your laughter. So go ahead and give it a spin.

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Subramaniapuram

A laid back suburb of Madurai. A gang of friends that have no (real) jobs. A politician. A girl. The rich, rural 80s life. And, um, violence. Yeah. That sums it up. Is that it? No. The 80s backdrop is what makes the movie Subramaniapuram intriguing and watchable. I hear quite a few disapproving groans out there, but to me the movie started with a lot of promise and fizzled out in the second half. The 80s backdrop alone is not enough to make it a cohesive story. But boy did I love the 80s theme! Director Sasi Kumar uses Ilayaraja's music cleverly to tap into your nostalgia. I have to take my hat off for the attention to detail Sasikumar pays in creating the 80s theme. And I don't know why, but I love that girl. I love the way she rolls her eyes while flirting with the hero. Her face lights up with a thousand titillating tales. This girl's got a future Jack. Mark my words. Unless she is devoured by the mediocrity that ails our movie makers. The boys in the movie are, well, ordinary. Don't want to waste screen space on them. I really hope that one day they learn to act and not talk like drunk Langurs.

James Vasanth's music is dreamy and poignant. But of course. He uses a lot of material from Ilayaraja. That song Kangal Irundhal is a take off on Chinna Kannan Azhaikiraan. Me thinks.

Sasikumar, how does a jobless, infatuated youth turn into a monster? He needs strong motivation. I am from a violent small town and I know how it was. But it takes a lot for one to become a killer. The excuse of 'they made me beg for my life from a woman' does not stick sir and is cliched. You became lazy or you were too anxious to finish your script. What kind of a love affair is that? The hero doesn't even want to hold her hand? Ganja Karuppu's character does not stick either. Sometimes a simple closure is the best way out, instead of scrounging for, and ending up with, a brittle 'twist-in-the-tale' closure that is as convincing as lipstick on a pig.

I don't agree with people complaining about the gore and the violence. What the fuck! The real world is worse. If you really don't like gore, close your eyes when the scene arrives. And shut up.

P.S. I am glad this new breed of directors is trying to tell captivating stories unlike the so called veterans like KamalHassan. Kamal has become self-congratulatory and suffers from a serious case of delusion. I hope this new breed does not succumb to the hypocrisy of Kodambakkam. Good luck gentlemen.

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The 3 Mistakes of My Life

'The biggest selling English language novelist in India's history' says the cover of The 3 Mistakes of My Life, Chetan Bhagat's new novel. In the Acknowledgments page he writes, 'However, I don't want to be India's most admired writer. I just want to be India's most loved writer.' By 'admired' he meant 'respected' I think.
In the same page he starts off with 'To Shinie Antony...' and goes about listing all the people that helped him BUT he does not say what he wanted to say. It is just a list of people. Who is your editor Chetan?

I told myself that I will not start judging the book even before I read it. But I can't help it.

I don't want to talk about Bhagat's writing skills. I am even willing to forgive the lapse on page 3 of the story. He will admit himself that his prose is not something to write home about. Let's talk storytelling. His story is based in Ahmedabad. His characters talk like they are in Boston though. Where is the local flavor Chetan? Guys, even those that want to be seen as hip, don't talk like 'Sure, Ish could not make his dream of being in the Indian Cricket team real.' I know, you mean 'Ish could not realise his dream...' If someone smashes my face, I will not ask 'What's wrong with you?' I will punch him back or run away or at least scream my lungs off. But I definitely won't inquire about my attacker's state of mind.

Chetan don't be carried away by Bollywood. You probably think it is a shrewd idea to package Cricket and Religion in a tale. It is probably clever, I don't know, but to spin a tale, any tale, you need to get the basics write right. I want to identify with your characters. I don't expect a Gujju boy to sound like a foul-mouthed, prepubescent American. I am sure Gujju boys use a lot more 'behen chod' or 'madar chod' than 'fuck'. I hazard a guess that not many in that small town use 'dude'. My point is that I could not see the old city in Ahmedabad. The net effect was that your characters lack life and depth. They sound like Bollywood characters.

So how does one bring the local, vernacular flavor to a tale written in English? Find key phrases, ideas... hooks that will instantly make your reader relate to your story. For example, if you wrote a story based in Chennai about the same characters. You are better off writing 'Otha stop it da machan' than 'What the fuck! Stop it dude!' That's a crude example, but I hope you see my point.

Chetan you know what the three mistakes of your life are now? Don't you?

I wonder, when an American critic picks up the novel, and spots the line on page 3 'We ran out the house' what will she think about us Indian readers? All right it is a typo but dude, but what the fuck?

Here's a review by The Mint. Taneesha, learn what a possessive pronoun is first before you write shit like "Its not when New York Times describes him as the biggest selling English language author..."
Long live mediocrity!

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Scorpions Rock Bangalore

The Scorpions came to town and rocked a nostalgic crowd for a couple of hours. The elderly gentleman in the front stood, in stoic silence, and watched Klaus Meine and his boys trying to recreate their magic. There's a story right there: the Scorpions have definitely lost a bit of their sting all right, but despite that they gave a memorable experience. That is precisely what was lacking in the Aerosmith show. The drummer, James Kottak, is the eccentric in the band I think. That madman played hard and drank harder. I don't want to say anything about the guitarists Matthias Jabs and Rudolf Schenker. I really can't make up my mind about their craft. However the bassist, Pawel Maciwoda, showed that rare touch and spirit. I am not going to humor you with the song list of the concert. They played a few from their latest album Humanity: Hour 1 and followed it up with their classics. I have to make a special mention of the rendition of Still Loving You, Blackout, and When the Smoke is Going Down; these numbers reiterated why these guys are legends. So if you grew up listening to Scorpions and missed the concert, I have to tell you that you missed a special performance. That said, what pleased me was how the band engaged the crowd. It showed that they respected the average Bangalorean that paid 1200 bucks to be there. It was a different story in the Aerosmith show: they acted like they were doing us a favor by performing that night.

Why can't the monkeys from the Press write accurate concert reviews? WTF! they get paid to write man. The dufus from Times of India wins the first prize this time. Read on:

The audience too pitched in, straining their vocal chords for songs such as Rock You Like A Hurricane, Wind of change, Still loving you, When the smoke is going down, Holiday, Send me an angel, You and I, Blackout, and Under the same sun.

Under the same sun? They never played that number Prashanth. And, what the fuck do you mean by vocal CHORDS? Who are you people? What gives you the authority and the condescension to write nonsense like that? How difficult is it for a young punk like you to attend a concert, make notes, and write an accurate review? And dude, vocal CHORDS!? Get the fuckouta here.

(Image courtesy: Wikipedia Author: Pablo BM, Plymouth, England)

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AeroForce One Crashes In Bangalore

As it turned out, it was a pretty bad show. Yes, it was bad trust me. Tyler sang as if he had no interest at all in entertaining the audience. He never hit the high notes. And most times, did not even sing! Joe Perry was equal in his rather pompous display of utter incompetence. It was stunning to watch these guys willingly screw up; we grew up listening to them and watching them. It as a big let down. I was actually waiting for the concert to finish, so I could get back home and drink some beer. The only high point of the concert happened outside of it: a guy ran back from the gate screaming 'Hey they are asking me for tickets man!'
And, what's with these guys, Tyler and Perry, advertising their stupidity? They think India is about Elephants, Vindaloo, Cobras, and Tigers! Why am I not surprised!

Now, writing concert reviews hit a new high today. Anand Sankar's review in The Hindu today, stinks of ignorance. Some gems from his review:

There was "Falling In Love (is hard on the knees)" followed by "Crazy".

They never played Crazy Anand. I want some of what you were smoking at the concert. Wait a minute, were you at the concert at all?

All along the massive backdrop kept playing superb animation, the band large-size or clips from the original videos.

Huh? I can't believe that Hindu actually published this gibberish.

Every wrinkle on face and every muscle in his body was tense.

Who is this guy! I want Anand to be our next President.

He showed off the many tattoos on his torso, including the one on his lower back that simply said in bold: "Lick me". The origins of the band were in no doubt when Tyler went on with the typically drawled "Baibey".

First, the tattoo was on his lower STOMACH. The origins were clear because he said 'Baibey?' I rest my case.

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