L.K. Advani 2009

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Chennai Vs Bangalore Debate

I wrote this post as a response to SelAm's post. First things first, I am a Chennai boy that lived in Andhra Pradesh for 20 years. I moved back to Chennai in 1993 and quit the city in 2001. I moved to Bangalore about five years back. I have lived in Pune and Indore. When I say lived, I mean lived there for at least six months.

I visited Bangalore first in 1996. I was deputed to Tata Yellow Pages's Bangalore office. I spent a couple of months there. As I was a salesman, I had to go around the city and thus was well acquainted with the city and its culture in a short time.

I don't know if one is predisposed to be biased about his home town, but I thought Chennai was better than Bangalore back then. There was no logic or rationale to that bias but I believed in it, fought for Chennai, and was quite sure I was right. My facts were rock solid: Chennai had better roads, better public transport... you know?

This is exactly where SelAm went wrong. If one were to go by infrastructure, I'd rate Kuwait better than Chennai or Bangalore. But, the question is, would you live in Kuwait? I won't. My liberty is more important than a pothole in the road. A city is not about roads and amenities. It is mostly about people. And culture. Both cities are rich in that regard. You really can't and should not choose between cultures. Each city has its unique personality and it'd be foolish to pose the question 'which has better culture?'

That said, we are left with this really tricky benchmark called 'Cosmopolitan'. Is Chennai more cosmopolitan? I don't think so. Having lived in Bangalore for close to five years, I can vouch for it: Bangalore is more cosmopolitan.

Take for example, food: the sheer number of cuisines Bangalore offers is a small yet significant testimony to that fact. I know people from Chennai will cry foul and throw a list of eateries in and around Chennai. Hang on people. I am talking accessibility and abundance here. Almost every street, lane corner has a food place in Bangalore. I *know* that is not the case in Chennai. Let's not even talk about variety of cuisines. Chennai is far behind Bangalore.

I think Bangaloreans are a liberal lot. This is my personal opinion but I don't think I can say that about Chennai. I thought of a million examples to illustrate my point but I thought better of it. It is *my* opinion! Bangalore's Cinemas show Tamil and Telugu movies. Chennai's don't show Kannada or too many Telugu movies. You tell me who is cosmopolitan.

There was some talk of who speaks better English on SelAm's post (see the comments). I don't understand the relevance of this point. So I choose not to respond to it.

Personally though, Bangalore makes better coffee than Chennai. Surprised? Walk into any of those 'Darshinis' and drink coffee.

Finally, I have to tell you this. Not because it is important but it reflects the hypocrisy of Chennai, the so called conservative 'Tamil' loving city.
Why the fuck do you need to be formally attired to go to a pub? And, these rules are only for us brown skinned bastards. If a white guy walked in clad in his undies, those ugly bouncers will let them in. Don't believe me? Why don't you try it yourself? 1) Residency Towers and 2) 10 Downing Street on North Boag road.

As far as the 'safe' city point, I don't think any of our cities are safe for women. So don't give me that bull on how Chennai is safer. No city is safe for Indian women in their country.

Don't rush to hate a city. You'll never realize how bad your crib is until you get out of it. And see some real cribs. I love Chennai for different reasons and Bangalore for different reasons. Though I was irritated with Indore, I grew to like it later. Or, my hometown bias has waned because I have lived in multiple towns. Whatever. I urge you to get your ass out and travel. Don't throw stones when you live in a... ok, I won't say it.

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Orissa Govt Does it Again

Orissa cops have taken the term gag order to a new level altogether. A Leftist writer and the editor of Oriya literary magazine Nissan, Lenin Ray was quite literally stopped from speaking to the media by policemen who muzzled him as he was being produced in Bhubaneswar's district court. [via NDTV]

How long will we let BJP get away with murder? What happened in Gujrat is haunting us even today.

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Security Starts at Home

You must have gone for the candle light vigil in your city. Tweeted or blogged about how India should respond or how courageous our soldiers are. Some of us hurled insults at the government and its 'inaction'. All of the above is needed. But what we need is grassroots responsibility.
If you are a salaried employee, you must, most likely, be working in one of those business complexes that house a number of business houses. I work in one too. After the Mumbai tragedy, the chief of security of the building called for a meeting to all the occupants (business houses) of the building. "Out of 50 only 12 representatives turned up" he laments. Somehow we seem to live in a bubble called 'it can't happen to us!'

Face it. It can happen to you. What are your options given that the security apparatus of your building (and your city) is not sufficient? We blame others all the time, but have you ever wondered 'What can I do?' For starters, attend security meetings in your building. Ask questions. Point out lapses that you noticed. Most often than not the person in charge of Security of your building has to deal with under-staffed teams, lack of equipment, cost-conscious builders, and apathetic tenants like us. What is the one thing you can change in that list? Apathy. Urge your 'I-am-too-cool-for-this-shit' colleague to participate. If you have an emergency response team at your workplace, talk to them, support them, and help them stay motivated. If you don't have an ERT, start one!

Ask the builder questions. Given the economic meltdown, no builder is willing to spend. We have to pressurize them to get them miserly asses to swing into action.

Make a list of Dos and Don'ts and circulate. For example,
1) Report unidentified objects in the vicinity.
2) Always. Repeat. Always wear your ID.
3) Don't let people tail-gate.
4) Report people moving around suspiciously near your work place.
5) Co-operate with Security. Don't act like you are being stopped from launching a spaceship when they run a metal detector check or frisk you. It's your ass, remember?
6) Have a list of important phone numbers at hand, all the time (cops, hospitals, ambulance etc)
7) Take Mock Drills seriously. The next time, it could be for real.

I am sure there's more, but I hope you got the drift.

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Do the Islamic Terrorists Care for Muslims?

I doubt it. A cursory glance at the deceased list from the recent Mumbai attacks is enough to conclude that these cowards merely want to spread terror. They are not really bothered about Muslims or Hindus. Their motives are political and far removed from a religious cause.
Muslims form approximately 15% of the civilian causalities. See deceased list.
Now tell me, does Islam condone killing of your own brethren? No. I think not. However, the foaming-at-the-mouth fanatics will come up with some screwed up theory that Allah understands collateral damage. The cliche is true: terrorists do not have a religion, for no religion accommodates killing of innocent people.

So if you by any outside chance thought that you were safe because you are a Muslim, perish that thought. They don't care about religion. They don't care about you. And, most importantly, they are not fighting for you.

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Hindutva Logic

"I do not know Pragnya Singh at all. But I know she is not a terrorist."
"No Hindu can be a terrorist."
- Praveen Togadia, leader of Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP).

Are we, the average citizens, morons? At least, that's the impression I get from speeches of the Thackerays and the Togadias.

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SimplyMarry.com is a Spam Site

Out of the blue I started getting mails about 'matches' for my profile in SimplyMarry.com, A IndiaTimes site. I never registered on the site. So I followed instructions and sent a mail to unsubscribe@simplymarry.com. Even that didn't stop the spamming. So I called their Call Center and the staff their told me that 'Someone must have registered on your behalf. I will send your password. You tell me the password and I will delete your profile.' He also explained that he can't see my password hence he is having the site send it to me. When asked 'what is the point of having an 'unsubscribe' feature, he obviously did not have an answer. He told me that he has deleted my account and I won't be getting mails after 'a week'.

Either people at IndiaTimes think people are dumb and they are really smart. They actually think they can get away with this spamming. Why do business houses get away with such atrocities just like politicians get away with murder in our country is something that baffles me.

What do you think I should do?

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While we hang our heads in shame...

"My appeals to the policemen who were standing nearby and watching only resulted in further beating. At one point the nun slipped away to plead with the police for help but she was dragged back by the mob and her blouse torn," he said. The nun was gang raped in a nearby building, and he was doused with kerosene by the mob, which threatened to set him on fire. [Via The Hindu]

If we turn a blind-eye, it will come back to haunt us. It is such acts of barbarity that widens the divide. I don't want to get into the argument about how some missions are forcing conversions. There is no excuse for raping women, like there is none for killing innocent people in the name of Jihad. Hinduism as I know it does not condone it. We were taught to worship women. And look what the so called Hindutva torch-bearers did: they gang raped a nun, with cops as witnesses. Now pray tell me, if our cops can't stop a rape, how in the god's name are they going to save us from terrorists and their bombs?

If you think about it for a moment you'll understand how a bigot can exploit this terrible situation. It is easier than ever before to hate us Hindus. If we turn a blind-eye, it will come back to haunt us. Remember Gujrat? We are still paying for it. Do you think our children should pay for Gujrat too? I don't think so.

What is appalling is discovering fundamentalist, religious rhetoric from blue-collar voices. Like I always said, education does not teach you civic sense, culture, or tolerance. I am hurt. I am ashamed. I hang my head low today. I probably will for a long time.

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No entry for educated dogs

There is this song in the Tamil movie Pudupettai, whose lyrics 'Padicha naaye ulla varaadhey' translate to 'No entry for educated dogs'. Thank you Selva Raghavan! And, I have heard our so called elders vent out their ire against a non-conforming person by saying 'padicha thimiru!' (arrogant that he/she is educated). Human nature?

For most of us getting a post-graduation berth in an IIT or IIM or AIIMS is impossible, but there are those that work hard and are blessed with a better IQ, who make the cut. So most of us would just love to trash the guys from IIMs. 'Oh this guy is supposed to be an IIM guy and gaawd, he is such a dud!' or 'IIT guys are arrogant and they lead a cocooned life.' or 'All IIT guys are gay.' You know? Yes, yes you are right. Sour grapes. But our governments have found a way to make you and me (if we belong to one of the the OBCs) enter the hallowed precincts of IIT or IIM, without having worry too much about our score and rank: yessir, Quota it is. But, these is some hope:

Three judges in the five-judge bench � Justices Arijit Pasayat, C K Thakker and Dalveer Bhandari � were of the view that graduation should be the cut off limit for availing quota benefits. Source: ET

Did I say there is hope? But we also have Dr. Anbumani Ramadoss, our Health Minister.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has been pushing the Health Ministry to set up private medical colleges, but his plea has fallen on deaf ears. For the past eight months, Health Minister Anbumani Ramadoss has failed to get the Medical Council of India change the laws that will help private sector enter the field of medical education.(via CNN-IBN)

Our honorable Health Minister, instead of attracting private participation in health education, chooses to tax the doctors of this land with a three year mandatory rural service (or three lacs in lieu of the rural service). If this mandatory service becomes a reality, it changes nothing for health care in rural areas: we'll end up with a disgruntled doc with only a steth for equipment in a PHC. The infrastructure is pathetic in government hospitals in metros, leave alone rural areas.

Quite a few of my doctor friends, who passed out recently out of MBBS, have opted to study masters in the USA; I noticed a marked increase in the percentage of doctors going abroad. And why not? What is the point of staying back and getting raped by successive populist governments?

There will be some that will argue that doctors 'must' serve. I agree, but if you want them to serve you, make life easy for them. Don't take a knife called quota and ram them where the sun don't shine. Give them better infrastructure so they can serve, instead of wasting the tax payer's money on schemes like a free color fucking TV to the voters!

What we do, by introducing quota for higher education (instead of stopping it at the graduate level) is this: we send a message 'It is okay to be mediocre'. God save my country. Please. Make all the dogs that want to go to the USA, stay back. Happy Selva? No? But of course!

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Small Towns. Big Hearts

"Guys coming from small-time towns are generally mentally and physically tougher than those coming from the metros. The infrastructure and facilities are not there and so players from smaller towns have to work harder," M.S. Dhoni (source: DNA)

1) Small town parents rarely encourage their progeny to go chase a wild dream like Cricket. They want him or her to shut the hell up and focus on school. So, if a guy surfaces, despite all the aforementioned odds, he will be very good. Passionate, committed, and without airs.

2) Small town guys are hard workers. They have to get out and play. No watching some stupid show on TV. No Playstation. No dates. No shit.

3) Small town guys start smoking and other good habits late, comparatively. I know alcoholics in Bangalore that are barely 21.

4) Most important, small town guys don't get any. The town is conservative and girls are not gonna hop on your bike and go out with you. Privacy is rare; everyone knows everyone, so the fear of getting caught in action rules over the evolutionary urge. Small town guys have strong arms. See?

5) Small town guys don't want to be intellectual unlike quite a few guys in Bangalore who act like they are Kafka's testicles. Small town guys keep it simple. They prefer a Malayalam movie over reading D.H.Lawrence. Human digest is popular too, by the way.

6) Small town guys are more in sync with nature than city boys. I was shocked when someone called a Kingefisher 'exotic.' No, not the beer you oaf! See what I mean?

7) Small town guys don't want to learn French. Awwwwwwwwww!

That's all I could think of now. If you want to add to the list, you know what to do partner.

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