On breaking up

Getting out of a relationship of over a decade is not a joke. It rattles you. It presents you with a huge cloud of insecurity and uncertainty: 'what will I do now?' 'Will I be able to take it and move on?' I am talking about a relationship that is in your blood, in each and every cell of your body. But then you have to give up on your darlings when it is your life that is on the line. I did break up for a little over one year in the past but I duly bounced back into it, for the allure, addiction, and the sheer exhilaration of it all was too much to resist. I have resolved not to bounce back this time. This time it is for good. I know I will be in throes of pain, when each one of those cells scream and complain for a dose of that temporary pleasure. But as I said, no relationship is worth it if it erodes you and makes you a clown in front of the people around you. No relationship, however exciting, is not worth it if it demands that you slowly wither away and finally causes your own demise. I know sweet love, the way you stand there and laugh at my misery, in a supreme confidence that I will come back and fall at your feet and beg for mercy... I know that you are laughing at me as I lick my wounds. I know. But this time around, I am not rolling back to you. Find another sucker. Find another guinea pig.

Folks if you were wondering what the hell that was about: I gave up smoking today and I hope I don't revert to it. :-) Prabhu, a taste of your own medicine?

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