The Historic Test's Last Day

One of the images that will stay with me for a long time is that of the lady from the cleaning staff of the MAC stadium in Chennai, running up to Sachin Tendular, shaking his hand, and blushing and running back. I was not planning to watch the match in the stadium. One of my friends asked if I would be interested and I said 'Yes'. When we walked into the stadium Dravid was already gone. Gambir and Sachin were at the crease. 'Same old story!' I thought but I was wrong.

Let me assure you that being there with the crowd is a fantastic experience. If you want to understand and experience the Indian Cricket Mania, go watch it in the stadium. I saw old men, with packed lunches, sharing their wisdom with strangers. "Now, he will bring the forward short-leg." the old man told the guy sitting next to him and to my amazement, KP did bring in a short-leg fielder.

The guy sitting behind me has an amplifier in this vocal cords I think. He kept screaming at Sachin. "Thambi! Paathu daa kanna. Rahu kalam will pass at 1 PM. Go for your fifty then!" and "Otha oyeee! Flitooffu, oootukku poi sera maattey!" He was with his sister and two nephews. He was screaming at his nephews "Otha saapda vandheengla match paakka vandhingala? Lavadeykabaal!"

He was actually having a conversation with Sachin. He reminded me of my friend's brother who used to 'put mandhiram' when the opposition was playing. No, he actually believed he got India wickets with his 'spells'.

The TNCA lunch was delicious. It was a typical Iyer lunch. So the veggies had a lot of fun. During lunch I overheard an old man recounting a story from the 80s to his friend. Another TNCA staffer predicted that Sehwag would be the Man-of-the-match. Another was rattling out statistics on all the winning 4th innings chases and a break down on successful chases in the sub-continent.

As I walked back in to my seat, I thought 'Hope Sachin finishes this one unlike that Pakistan match!' A shudder went up my spine. The master did not make that mistake this time. The mad guy behind me was now coaxing Sachin by screaming 'Thambi, come back for tea, don't get out now!' I also found it enchanting that the crowd applauded good fielding efforts by England. I don't think you'll see a better sporting crowd in this country.

To watch VVS hit those sublime drives is sheer joy. I don't think there will be another artistic Indian batsman as VVS: his silken touch, grace, and elegance is beyond human comprehension.

The only regret I have is Dravid's horrific form. I hope this man bounces back fast enough, for it would be a shame to watch one of the greatest batsmen this game has ever seen, walk away in the shadows of obscurity: unsung and hurt.

Just before tea Yuvi hit a massive six off Monty. Somehow, I realized that we were going to win. We still needed 100 plus runs but I knew the result. Indian cricket is in good hands. The guy sitting behind echoed that thought by saying 'Apdeedhaan thambi, Kulla, nee weight machi!'

Amen!

P.S. I did not translate the Tamil in this post. You need a Chennai boy to translate the slang. Sorry!

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Cartoon wants animated characters instead of cheerleaders

Siddharam Mhetre, Minister of State for Home and guardian of Indian morality has called the cheerleaders of IPL 'absolutely obscene'. He also suggested that they use 'animated' characters in the place of cheerleaders. Why didn't anyone think of it? Didn't you all know that you are going to offend a few cartoons in this country when you brought those lovely girls to cheerlead?
Mr. Mhetre also said:
[quote]"We live in India where womanhood is worshipped. How can anything obscene like this can be allowed?" he asked. Mhetyre wondered why the organisers require "semi- nude" women to entertain people at cricket matches.[/quote] Oh gee! Really? Aren't you from the same party that watched in glee as rabid mobs slaughtered pregnant women in Gujrat?

Sharukh said: "What's wrong with cheerleaders? I am also a family person, I do not see anything negative in it," Yeah, I am sure Karan won't mind the cheerleaders. As long as they are women. Hee hee.

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The brown man Down Under

When young Ishant Sharma gave away his wicket, predictably so, under what was probably one of the most dramatic and high-pressure situations in the history of the game, Cricket took an irreversible turn. I predict the beginning of the end of Aussie supremacy, for true champions do not resort to unfair methods to win. When they start doing so, it means that they no longer are as confident as a champion ought to be. You may laugh. You may say it is wishful thinking, but write it down dear friend, the Aussies are on the decline.
I am not going to go into the details of the controversies that surround the match and its result. The Aussies complained on Harbhajan Singh and got a ban slapped on him. That to me is funny. They invented sledging and made a science of it. This whole racism thing is nonsense according to me. I call at least two people 'monkey' every day! So, why are they whining like a pack of prepubescent monkeys? Because they want to win. No matter what. India has managed to create doubt in the Aussie's mind. The Punter is actually worried that Indians might just do the unthinkable: beat them in their backyard. Not many teams in contemporary cricket have done that. So Ponting had to dig deep into his repertoire as an Aussie skipper (and you know what that means) to pull off a historic win. Eight decisions against us are termed dubious from the last test match. That's enough to alter the course of a test match. Two decisions in the second innings were enough actually. Rahul Dravid's and Hussey's. It is unfathomable why a black umpire would dislike the brown men so much! Do you remember how Bucknor gave Sachin out LBW when the ball had actually hit Sachin on the helmet? I can cite a few more, but I think I have made my point. I simply can't understand why that man hates us so much. If you dig up statistics, most controversial umpiring decisions go against visiting sides when they are playing Down Under. I see a pattern there but I have little evidence to prove it to you. I'll leave it at that.

I think it is time we showed the finger to ICC. We can afford to do that trust me. Some how Mr.Pawar (who probably celebrates every time he gets on his feet without help) does not seem to be assertive. I am quite sure of how Mr. Dalmiya would have handled the situation.

Now, should we abandon the tour? There is a lot of acrimony over that point but I'll tell you what, this is sport and sport must go on. Abandoning is the easy way out. As far as Bhajji's ban goes, if ICC does not relent, well so be it! It is only 3 matches. Malcom SpeedMike Proctor said "I am South African, and I understand the word 'racism'." I mean what the fuck was that! What is racism to him might not be so to us! But when the mighty white man talks, you listen!

Finally, this whole thing about spirit of the game and that Cricket is a gentleman's game yada yada is crap. No self-respecting captain or team will give the match away to save the so called spirit. But you know what, we Indians are melodramatic to the point of being stupid: sometime in the 60s, we sent a Hockey team to Pakistan with strict instructions to... LOSE! I read it in Tony Greig's book (don't remember the name of the book). Also, think about it the Aussies are champions because their approach is scientific. It is time we stopped being melodramatic and turned to method (and also stop making stupid Cricket commercials like 'mind and body, heart and soul'). Also, it is time we stopped taking shit from these bastards. Think about it, we let Ricky Ponting talk about, hold your breath, integrity! Hilarious!

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Dear Arun Lal

What the fug do you mean when you say 'He had some hesitancy.' Just pocket what they pay you and shut up, instead of making an ass out of yourself on national television. And of course the other twerp is even worse!

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Gaurav, Shut up. Please.

Gaurav explains why Sehwag should be persisted with. These patronizing fug heads I tell you. Sehwag should be dropped because he failed to deliver. Consistently. If he were pushed down the order yada-yada is bull shit. By that logic, we should have never dropped Ganguly and we should have thrown Sachin to the stray dogs of Chandra Layout three years back. You can be a fan all right, but giving Sehwag a public bj is too much. And sister, 'bad patch' is not a good excuse.

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Sreesanth fined by ICC

...and Andrew Nel, the Monkey Man from S. Africa gets away with murder. The white skin is amazing protective gear I tell you. Dear Sreesanth, I am sending you a inflatable middle finger; when you find time please show it to Mahanama, the match referee.

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